On Storms and A Health Update

A Little Backstory: 

In January of this year, I experienced what we now know was a focal seizure at my mom’s birthday celebration. My family was adamant I follow up with a neurologist after witnessing this (I was adamant I was fine, because I was only partially aware of what was going on ;))  I saw a neurologist in February, and we discovered that the episodes I had been experiencing very frequently (multiple times a day most days) for over a year were seizures. While awaiting treatment options, further testing, and appointments, in April I had a grand mal seizure (also known as a tonic clonic seizure) while shopping at Trader Joe's with my mom. I woke up in an ambulance, with no recollection of what had happened or where I was.  I actually thought I was dreaming when the EMT’s told me I had a seizure.  Following this, I received a diagnosis of epilepsy.  Currently, we are in the process of determining exactly what is going on, so more testing is being done to understand the specific type and origin of the seizures in order to help us determine the best course of treatment moving forward.  I have begun seizure medications, and while I have had no more tonic clonic seizures (Praise God), I am still having focal seizure activity.

*The pictures on instagram/ the blog were captured during an at home video EEG test.

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During this time, I’ve been thinking about the song from Maverick City, that says- “the wind came, the storms blew, but my house was built on you.”  In my life years ago, the storms did come and the winds did blow, but I found out that my foundation was not on Jesus.  My foundation was on my own strength.

This time around, as the rain has come and the winds have blown in the form of seizures,  I can see and feel a difference.  There’s a difference in the peace I feel.  There’s a difference in my response.  There’s a difference in my mind.  Before, my mind ran completely wild with worry, fear, doubt, and confusion.  This time, there are moments of these feelings.  Please hear me when I say I have at times still struggled with these, but it is not what is predominant.  By His great faithfulness, I now know God to be with me in my darkest nights.  I have known Him to be faithful and true.  I have known Him to bring me comfort in the most miraculous ways, even though he didn’t have to.  I’ve known His kindness.  These experiences help me to hold on to faith, and to not be thrown about in the midst of the storm.  My foundation is built on Jesus now through and through, and perhaps that’s greater than any of the hard things I’ve experienced.  :)

Thank you for all your prayers,

Anna

Hope Fuels our Peace in Times of Crisis

“Our circumstances don’t determine our peace.”

Last summer, I kept hearing this message over and over in my devotional time. I heard it through songs, messages, etc. It seemed to be everywhere. To be honest, I struggled with it. I thought “God, that doesn’t even seem fair. How can I be at peace when my world seems to be falling apart around me?” As I wrestled with the question of having peace despite hard circumstances, I heard God whisper to my heart,

The level of your hope determines the level of your peace.

Many of us have experienced major life changes due to the current state of the world. There are many things that look different in our day-to-day lives than we could have ever anticipated. We are all facing the uncertainties of what our lives will look like in the coming future. How do we continue to have peace when we hang in the balance of so much uncertainty?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance for what we do not see.” Jesus, who is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), stands ready to lovingly give us His peace, and we can choose to receive it. When we put our hope in the Lord, we can receive peace despite our circumstances. Hope and peace are interrelated; hope fuels our peace in times of crisis. Because I know who my God is, and I can recall His faithfulness in my life, I can have hope that surpasses understanding . And that then gives way to peace that surpasses understanding. The level of our hope determines the level of our peace.

So, when fear or worry comes, I have to do what I’ve already learned to do when I feel afraid. I fix my eyes on the hope of God’s promises, and I take any other thought captive (blog post on taking thoughts captive here). I do not have to be a slave to my emotions any longer. The emotions are there, yes, but I can choose to rise above them, and hope. I can choose to believe that God is holding me by my right hand, helping me (Isaiah 41:13). I can pray. As Psalm 121 says, I know where my help comes from. It comes from the Lord.

We are all living very real lives with very real concerns, pain, and hardships. Having hope, does not diminish the reality of the things we are going through. But when we activate our faith, and take Jesus’ outstretched hand, we can begin to hope. If you are reading this, I am praying Romans 15:13 over you: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Scriptures to meditate on and get inside your heart this week:

We have this hope that we have as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure... Hebrews 6:19

“For I know the plans for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41: 13

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 3:16

Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Truly He is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62:6

I lift up my eyes to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip -- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you -- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm -- He will watch over your life; The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121

With love,

Anna